[Lois]
It seems today that all you see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
[Peter]
But where all those good 'ol fashioned values
On which we use to rely?
[Brian]
It use to be a big time star
Was elegant as Garbo, or Hedy Lamarr
[Stewie]
But now we get whores like Jenny Lopez
You want to curl up and die
Lucky there's a Family Guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
[Stewie] Laugh and cry
He's our Family Guy
[Louis]
When I was young, the songs were fair
With Mister Johnny Mathis, and Sonny and Cher
[Peter] But now we get Justin Timber-homo
[Louis] A heartache all gone awry!
[Brian]
The classic films were works of art
The images were graceful, the stories were smart
[Stewie]
But now we get Matrix Revolution, I'm sorry I know this doesn't rhyme
But what the hell were you Wachowski Brothers thinking?!
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a fella, sweeter than vanilla
Wholesome as a piece of
[Stewie] Apple pie
He's a family guy
[Lois]
His smile's a simple delight
[Chris]
He lets me see the boobies on the internet sites
[Lois]
Peter!
[Meg]
He bought me my cute little hat
[Brian]
Yeah, we should have a talk about that
About that! And his hat!
[Brian]
He's mastered the comedy arts
[Stewie]
He says, Look out, Hiroshima! Then casually farts
[Lois]
He's loaded with sexy appeal
[Peter]
And best of all my titties are real, Have a feel!
[Brian]
No thank you
[Stewie]
I gave it the office
[Lois]
The Brady Bunch has got their Mike
And pretty Laura Petrie has Dicky Van Dyke
But who around here could fill those loafers?
But here's a happy reply
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the thing that
Make us
[Stewie] Laugh and cry!
He's a Family Guy!
He's a Family Guy
