Down Syndrome Girl

You've got to look your best tonight
You tubby little parasite
'Cause there's a lovely lady and she's waiting for you
And though her pretty face may seem
A special person's wettest dream
Before you get to see it there are things you must do
We'll try a tie and boutonniere of yellow
Or a rose that shows that you're a classy fellow
With the posh panache of Jefferson at Monticello
Busting out a mile with style
I know you just can't wait to stare
At all that luscious orange hair
But, boy, before you touch a single curl
You must impress that ultra bloomin'
All-consumin', poorly groomin'
Down's Syndrome girl
On any normal day you reek
As if you're on a farting streak
Your finger's up your nose And you are dripping with drool
But if you want a lady's love
You're better off by smelling of
A gentleman's cologne instead of sneakers and stool
A squirt, a spurt
Of something just for Ellen
And you'll see, that she
Will find you so compellin'
And she does, because
The only smell that she'll be smellin'
Won't be coming from your bum
(Farts)
You wanna take that little whore
And spin her on the dancing floor
But boy, before you do a single twirl
You must impress that effervescing
Self-possessing, no BS-ing
Down's Syndrome girl
Her eyes are emerald portals
To a secret land of love
And her smile is like the sweetest summer flower
Her kiss is so inviting
And her hugs are so delighting
And what makes them really nice
Is that they've got a little spice
Because they're tighter than a vise
And they go on for an hour
(Stewie and Chris tap dance)
My boy, between the two of us
We'll get you on that shorty bus
And then you're gonna take it for a whirl
Now go impress that super-thrilling
Wish-fulfilling, Yoo-Hoo spilling
Ultra-swinging, boner-bringing
Gaily singing, dingalinging
Stupefying, fortifying
As of Monday, shoelace tying
Stimulating, titillating
Kitty-cat impersonating
Mega-rocking, pillow-talking
Just a little crooked walking
Coyly pouting, booby-sprouting
For some reason always shouting
Fascinating, captivating
Happiness and joy creating...
(Glass shatters)
Down's Syndrome Girl!