Brian: When I try to sing, you say I'm off-key.
Why can't you see how much this hurts me.
With your perfect beauty and your perfect pitch.
You're a perfect angel.
When I come around, must you always put me down.
If you say my singing is off-key, my love.
You will hurt my feelings, don't you see, my love.
I wish I had an ear like yours, a voice that would behave.
All I have is feeling and a voice God gave.
You insist my music goes against the rules.
Yes, but rules were never made for lovesick fools.
I wrote this little song for you, but you don't care.
It's a crooked song, ah, but all my heart is there.
The thing that you would see if you would do your part.
Is even if I'm out of tune, I have a gentle heart.
I took your picture with my trusty Rolleiflex.
And now all I have developed is a complex.
Possibly in vain, I hope you weaken, oh my love.
And forget those rigid rules that undermine my dream of.
A life of love and music with someone who'll understand.
That even though I may be out of tune,
When I attempt to say how much I love you.
All that matters is the message that I bring
Which is my dear one I love you.
{Applause}
Lois: Oh, that was lovely, Brian.
Brian: Oh, great. Thanks.
Was it... uh... was it lovely enough for you to-
Lois: No, I will not make out with you.
Brian: Got it. Won't ask again.
Herbert: Well, hey there, muscley-arm.
Chris: Oh, hi, Mr. Herbert
Lois: Oh, Herbert... How nice to see you.
Herbert: I ain't talkin' to you, hussy.
Hey, Chris. Brought you some candy corns.
Chris: Wow, thanks.
Herbert: You know, you walk by my house everyday only way to catch the scubas. It just makes me wanna sing. So I'm gonna sing you a little song, Chris.
Chris: Cool!
