I Threw Myself Away

As time grows
So does our distance
The memories seem to fade
With each passing second
A dove flies by my window now and then
I watch in wonder as it flies away again
Leaving the memories to return to me
All though I reach I cannot grasp
For fear holds me back
Love steers me near
But I throw myself away
I run to her than turn my back and run away
When she comes near I hold my heart in my tightly closed hands
Wanting and wishing that I could let it go
For her to take control
But once again I find myself back
And regret returns
And I know I cannot take back this mistake I made
She is my angel in my nightmare
Haunting me is this choice I made
The choice I make over and over again
I threw myself away